Thursday, March 26, 2009

No-Theft Day

Let's all of us citizens take a vow to not steal for one whole day. We already have a Smoke-Free Day, a Secretary's Day, a Mother's Day, a Grandmother's Day and Valentine's Day. Let's have one more holiday: a Don't Steal Anything Day. The benefits will be immediate: There will be bumper stickers that read, "I didn't Steal Anything Today." The Hallmark cards will have their usual holiday bumper crop and, best of all, the huge flow of unfilched cash will send the economy soaring.

This holiday will only work if it is observed by big thieves, not just small fry. Cookers of books, Ponzi schemers, scrupleless traders, and accountants addicted to drugs and gambling will need to observe the day as much as petty cashiers, banking clerks, parking-meter attendants, coin-laundry collectors, slot-machine operators and traffic court judges. Not everyone will observe — just like not everyone stops smoking on Smoke-Free Day — but if enough people try, the results will be palpable.

Theft-Free Day will get better every year until we can eventually expand it to a Theft-Free Week. Imagine! A whole week during which no one steals anything. Hard to imagine, I know, but everybody used to smoke, too.

I know that I'm a dreamer, but what if we had a whole Theft-Free Month, like Poetry Month? April is traditionally Poetry Month, but there is no reason why it shouldn't double in the future as Theft-Free Month. Well, I'm not going as far as to suggest that everyone should observe a whole month without ripping anything off — that's probably a bit visionary. Certainly, professional thieves will be exempt: That's their job, after all, and they have enough problems with something called the law.

Still, even if we left out the people who make a living at it — muggers, bank robbers and the like — it would still be something if all the rest of us so-called law-abiding citizens — regular folks like Wall Street tycoons, CEOs and just-plain professionals, contractors and workaday drudges — would take our hands out of the till for a day, a week or a month. We would simply quit taking bribes, faking receipts, padding expense accounts and inflating budgets for that short time.

I know that a certain amount of thievery is built into the general economy and accounted for, but it's gotten out of hand. If it doesn't work and it wrecks the economy instead, we can just go back to Poetry Month. - Andrei Condrescu

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Texas Hold'em Nicknames

Here are a few of my favorite poker derivative nicknames for your pocket cards in Texas Hold'em.

Single Cards

A: As-Nas, Bullet, Spot, Mastercard, Eye, A of spades: Death Card or Tax Card
K: Cowboy, Knight, Monarch
Q: Cowgirl, 2 Titties, Dame, Slut
J: Boy, Jackel, Valet, John, J-Boy,
10 (T): Dime, Bo Derek, Big Casino
9: Niner, 9 of diamonds: Curse of Scotland.
8: Fat Lady, Snowman
7: Beer Card, Hockey Stick, Mullet
6: A Boot, Sex
5: Five Spot, Nickel
4: Boat, Four Spot, One Legged Ace
3: Crab, Trey
2: Deuce, Duck, Dewey, 2 of spades: The Curse of Mexico

Pocket Card Nick Names

AA: Eyes of Texas, American Airlines, Pocket Rockets, Snake Eyes, Black Aces: Banditerna, Red Aces: Visine
AK: Big Slick, Big Ugly, King Aurthur, Korean Airlines
AQ: Big Slut, Mrs. Slick, Anthony & Cleopatra
AJ: Apple Jacks, Ajax, Black Jack, Hijack
AT: Bookends
A9: Rounders Hand
A8: Dead Man's Hand
A7: Slap Shot
A6: Mile High Club
A5: High Five
A4: Transvestite
A3: Ashtray
A2: Acey-Ducey, Little Slick

KK: King Kong, Gorillas, Knights, Cowboys
KQ: Royal Couple, If wins: Marriage (suited) or Mixed Marriage (off suit), Doesn't win: Divorce (suited)
KJ: Bachelor's Hand (off suit), Starkey and Hutch, Kojak
KT: Big Al

QQ: Ladies, 4 Tits, Bitches, The Prostitute
QJ: Maverick
QT: Cutie, Q-Tip

JJ: Brothers, Fishhooks, Jaybirds
JT: TJ Hooker

TT: Dimes, Audi

99: Pothooks, Wayne Gretzky, Popeye's

88: Snowmen, Racetracks, Two fat ladies

77: Mullets, Hockey Sticks

66: Route 66, Boots

55: Speed limit, Presto

44: Luke Skywalker, Black Fours: Dark Force or Darth Vader

33: Treys, Crabs

22: Ducks, Quack Quack

You can see all of the nick names at:

Monday, March 16, 2009

Quote For Thought

“The difference between a boss and a leader: a boss says, ‘Go!’, and a leader says, ‘Let’s go!’”.

E. M. Kelly

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Wow! Some much to update on/not enough time. I have/had some many ideas about my blog. I just don't seem to put it all together like I wanted to. These last few weeks have been long and I wish I kept up more on the blog. I have tons of ideas.....I just don't seem to execute them properly. So instead, I'll give you a mini update and go from there.

Ryan and I just got back from Vegas! We were in a $100,000 Black Jack Tournament. We could have been better in the tournament. We keep learning and growing our skills in black jack tournaments. Ryan did great in the gambling world. He came back with money. SCORE! Me, AKA The Cooler, well, I lived up to my Vegas nickname. Walked up to a craps table..... "7". Bad. Ryan bet against me (hoping I would roll 7s). He didn't win. I just have BAD luck sometimes and effects the entire table around me. The Cooler, I cool down hot tables. It is an old superstitious casino thing.

Ryan surprised me with tickets to go see Le Reve (which means “The Dream” in French) at Wynn for our "February Gift" (we don't celebrate Valentines day...we call it February day). LOVED it. Cirque du Sole never lets me down! It is our 4th major show we have seen in Vegas.

I have also been reading TONS lately. I never really read books, as you can see from my grammar - HORRIBLE!

I just finished the "Twilight" series by Stephenie Meyer. First of, I am OBSESSED (Ryan reading this right now is probably thinking "obsessed" is an understatement). I think about the characters NON stop. I have dreams about it. I compare my life to the stories and characters. I am telling you OBSESSED!! I am just in love with the idea of love that is shared with the main characters, Bella and Edward. It is so rare to find love like is making me obsessive. I know, I know, it is just fiction. It is a story about vampires for God-sakes, but I am just so fascinated by the impossible love story. I want more Stephenie Meyer. I WANT MORE! Don't leave me hanging in this Twilight hangover today (I just finished Breaking Dawn yesterday....the 4th book). I just REALLY want more, I am showing signs of withdrawal today.

Hopefully, I'll get over it and get back to reality. I have my Edward....I have Ryan.

Kudos to Stephenie Meyer, a local Valley resident for making such a fantastic series. I am just starting on The Host today, I am sure you won't disappoint. At least the book is for Adults, not teens.

I also finished The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. FANTASTIC! I also really got "emotionally" involved with the book. It just changed my entire point of view of Afghanistan and why our troops are fighting for the citizens of Afghanistan. Khaled is a fantastic story teller and he make you want more and make the characters so alive....with emotions and feelings. I wish him the best of luck and I hope he produces more literary work and spread the word and charity to help the true citizens of Afghanistan. Help share the pride and the true meaning of what it means to be a Afghani citizen.

Other recent books was The Reader by Bernhard Schlink. It was good.....I just never really got into it, but it was good. I am sure I will like the movie more. I haven't read the last few pages, that might change things for me. Rosemary's Baby by Ira Levin. Very good! Another movie that I would like to see. I am also reading Confessions of a Shopaholic at this time.

Look at me! A little bookworm! Do you remember when you where in school and you got "star" sticker for a button? Once you filled all the spaces, you got a free personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut. I wish I had that now. I could really go for a pizza right now.

Now that I bored the few readers I do have, I'll update more later.