Friday, September 25, 2009

Deep Fried Butter Anyone??

Fair officials in Texas have announced the eight edible finalists for the fifth annual Big Tex Choice Awards, where vendors cook their way to victory in a battle for the best dish.

Green Goblins: Cherry peppers packed with spicy shredded chicken and guacamole, battered and deep fried. Topped with queso.

Deep Fried Butter: Pure butter whipped light and sweetened with choice of flavor. Placed in dough and deep fried on a stick.

Twisted Yam On A Stick: Spiral-cut yam fried crispy, rolled in butter, dusted with cinnamon and sugar.

Fernie's Deep Fried Peaches & Cream: Peaches coated with batter and deep fried, sprinkled with streusel and cream. Served with raspberry sauce.

Texas Fried Pecan Pie:
Pecan pie battered and deep fried, drizzled with caramel sauce and topped with cream and chopped pecans.

Country Fried Pork Chips: Thin pork loin seasoned, dipped in corn meal and deep fried. Served with ketchup or gravy.

Sweet Jalapeno Corn Dog Shrimp: Shrimp coated with sweet and spicy batter, deep fried and served with spicy glaze.

Fried Peanut Butter Cup Macaroon: Peanut butter cup wrapped in coconut macaroon, fried and dusted with powdered sugar. Ice cream scoop optional.

Past winners include Chicken Fried Bacon and the Fried Banana Split.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Walking on Glass and Fire Story....

I was asked by Mya to tell the walking on fire and glass story.

In the "Awesome Girl Award" post, number 2, the question asked what my favorite memory is. These are hard questions usually, but there is one day that really sticks out at me when I think of individual days.

It was a day that I thought I could take on the world. It was a day that I never felt better about myself and my life.

The day started out with me car shopping. I wanted to buy myself a car for a graduation present from college. I went with my then employer "Steve"* (*name was changed) and my BFF, Cathie. I bought a brand new car that day. BRAND NEW....under 50 miles on it. It was cute and I was so proud of the car. Steve and Cathie spent all day with me and finally got my car. Steve had a friend that was having a "party", but I knew it wasn't a normal party, it was some sort of self esteem party. I was exhausted, but after all, he wasted an entire Saturday with me at the car dealership, the least I could do is go to his friend's "party".

The "party" was as weird as I though it was going to be. They did these activities. First they gave us a wooden board and had us write all of our fears on it. They they wanted us to karate chop the board....blah blah blah. Us breaking the board had some sort of symbolism, I don't remember. I didn't partake in karate chopping. No need to break my hand. It would never get rid of the fears. Then they did this weird thing with an arrow where you can break a wooden arrow with the soft spot on your neck...right above the collar bone. Again, no braking arrows with my throat.

Then the glass came out. She put a long sheet down and spread the glass over it. A few people walked across the glass. I thought about it and it really seemed really cool. They didn't cut their feet. So, I did it!! I walk across the glass and back again. I DID IT! I was so happy for myself that I walked across the glass. It was a high that I never felt before. It was a great feeling. I felt I could really take on the world. My life was going to be OK.

They had us do other stuff, again.....I didn't participate in the crazy activities. Cathie did not participate in any of the activities. Steve did a few things.

Then they had us go into the back yard where there was a HUGE bon fire. All I can think about was the fire department coming at any moment. How do you explain what you where doing? They had us throw our boards with our fears into the bon fire. We were burning our fears.

Thinking that was it, oh no, it was not over. Out came musical instruments. I know what you are thinking, because I was thinking the same thing.... "What the hell are these for?" They started going through the fire with shovels and placing the burning coals in a pit. They had all of us walk around the coal pit and play the music and chant and clap our hands. Barefooted of course. Finally people started walking across the fire. Everyone claped their hands. I was really impressed with the people who did it. Each time the circle would come around to the part where you crossed the fire pit, I would chicken out. I didn't want to ruin my high with the glass walking. That was crazy enough. Fire walking? I am not that crazy.

Then all of a sudden.....I went across the fire. I WENT ACROSS THE FIRE. I didn't think about it, I just went across the hot coals.

I will never be able to explain how I felt. I was truly on top of the world. I have NEVER been so proud of myself. NEVER. None of my accomplishments put together, would ever amount to what I just did.

I finally got Steve and Cathie to go across them. They too felt how I did.

This was in the fall of 2003.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Possibly the Best Website of ALL time...

People of Walmart is possibly the best website in the history of websites. I think I died and gone to white trash internet heaven. The sad part is that these photos are are an everyday thing at Wally World. Makes me feel WAY better about myself.

Just a sample of white trash at it's best:

Thanks Ashley for sending me this AMAZING site!

Awesome Girl Award

Thanks Mya!

1. Favorite smell: Orange Blossoms in the spring or rain

2. Favorite memory: Watching Ryan, when our fathers was reading our hand ceremony at our wedding or when I walked on fire and glass.....I thought I could take on the world!

3. Favorite breakfast food: French Toast

4. Favorite comebacks: Whatever

5. Favorite season: Spring

6. Favorite writing utensil: Fat liquid ink pens

7. Favorite Ice Cream: Strawberry cheese cake with lots graham cracker crust

8. Favorite Quote: "It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for who you are not," unknown.

9. Favorite Coffee Accouterments: Cinnamon Dolce Latte

10. Favorite Day: Saturday because I feel like my weekend isn't over yet.

I pass my award on to: Every girl reading this! Copy and paste it in your blog or reply to me.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

My First Ultrasound!

I had my first ultrasound yesterday. NO SILLIES! Not for what you are thinking. There is no peanut growing inside my uterus! They did an ultrasound on my abdomen. I rather enjoyed the ultrasound. The little rolly thing was very soothing and really helped my stomach. I was in a lot of pain and it really helped relieve some pressure. The room was dark and a good temp. It was just a very relaxing 15 minutes. I wish I got to stay longer.

The doctor will get my results in a few days. The tech wouldn't give me any results, but did say she seen some stuff that the doc will be interested in.

On Monday is my biopsy on my intestines and other stuff inside me. They will also get photos of my intestines and colon. NOT excited about the process or the stuff that goes on the day before. I am on an ALL clear liquid diet Sunday. What the HELL am I going to do? No Chipotle? I might just die. At least I will loose a few pounds. Fingers crossed anyways.

School Update: I dropped short bus class after the first day. Seriously don't need to be learning how to turn on a computer. So now I am taking a Database class, Web design 1 and a Flash class, online. I am really liking them and learning something at least. Today is my first quiz! I even studied! Shocking I know.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

And then the fight started...

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...
My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....


Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!" So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you? "
And then the fight started.....
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started....
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her''Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.'

About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?'

Brian said, 'Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure.

So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mom,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Brian

Several days later, Brian received an e-mail back from his mother that read:

Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom