Have You Been on This Blog??

This has to be the best blog out there. I laugh so hard with every post! At the same time, I kind of feel bad for the guy. Twilight Widowers Anonymous

This guy has a wife that has to be the most obsessive Twilight fan out there. I REALLY like the saga, but this lady goes way over the sanity line. It is a must read blog.....I promise it won't disappoint. So if you are a fan or can't stand Twilight....you will be rolling on the ground laughing.

By the way.....he calls Edward: Pretty McSparkle! That has to be the best line.

Kudos to you, Mr. Twilight Widow!

Inaugural Rant & Rave

Rant - People Who Hate AZ, That Are From Another State:

I am so sick of people who move to Arizona from another state and hate it here. Complain every second about how bad Phoenix is. Every little thing that happens, they compare it to AZ. "We don't do it like that in Boston." Uhhhhh ok, move back! They hate the drivers here. My rebuttal, how many Arizona natives do you know? Exactly, they are far and few between. Phoenix is made up of ppl from around the country, just like yourself.....so AZ drivers are not bad drivers....it is all these other a-holes from "So-Cal" or "Jersey" that move here. They complain about EVERYTHING! How there is no culture here, how the buildings look a like, how hot it is here (hey, dumb @ss, it is PHOENIX DESERT, what did you expect? Hawaii temps all year around?), how bad the education system is (ok, it is bad), how people are rude (again....AZ natives are a rare breed). Don't even get me started on the snow birds!

Overall, Arizona was established in 1914. Most East coast states was explored by Europeans in the 16th century. That is a vast difference. Yes, we had many settlers before that, but we don't have the two hundred year old libraries and the "culture" that you all want. We do have plenty of culture here....you just have to be open minded! Have you been to the Heard Museum? Exactly. you should check it out. You should start to call AZ home. I know you have lived here for the last 25 years and still not think of it as home. If you hate it here so much....why stay for that long? Why did you move here in the first place? Exactly....your beloved state isn't the best either. I am so sorry you hate it here. I wish you could love it as much as I do or just leave and take your negativity with you to your beloved state!!!

While I am on the So-Cal and No-Cal thing.....you drive me crazy! Your stickers stretch across your entire back window of your truck. I ask when you moved from Cali....your reply "When I was 3." WOW! You are representing a zip code that you are no longer tied too. OK! That is why we live in America. You can put what ever you want on your car.

Another think I hate about trucks....is those stupid bull ball things you hang off your hitch. You are NOT cool. You are a WT a-hole! Rant over.


Rave - Twilight Saga:

I know. I might be slightly obsessed, but Twilight has done so much for me. It got me into reading. I really, truly love the saga. I am now re-reading all the books. I was reading Twilight and Midnight Sun together. It is nice to slow down and pick up parts that you forgot or didn't understand. Also, big help with the characters on knowing them better. I wish Midnight Sun would be finished. I truly loved that draft.

So thank you Stephenie Meyer! You got me to love books and love to read. You also created an unbelievable love story that we can all relate to one way or another. However, you have ruined me for all other books. Nothing compares!

Way Too Long!

It has been WAY too long since I blogged. It irritates me because I have SO many ideas. I have countless photos of meals I was planning. I have the top 5 list that I haven't done in so long. I also haven't done my rant and rave blogs. I have been wanting to do them since I started the blog. Hopefully I get better, but my life is pretty boring!!!

So for right now, update time!

Ryan and I's one year anniversary was on April 26th. We had dinner....we talked. It was nice. We are hoping to plan a vacation soon. Hopefully one that doesn't include bed bugs!!

Again, here is a mini slide show of our wedding photos: http://chelsea-nicole.com/slideshows/jamie_and_ryan/ The photos were taken by the VERY talented Chelsea Nicole Photography.

Since it has been little over a year, I have to decide on what to do with my dress. Check out Chelsea's Trash the Dress sessions!



So now it is business time. I really started to think about the future and what I need to do. Babies will be coming in the next few years and I started to think about daycare and all the other expenses. Even in the immediate future, I don't feel my job as being secure.

So now it is business time! I am in FULL swing. I wrote down all the negatives that went along with the invitations. I was not making any money. They were SO much work. I hated wasting my entire weekend on the invitations. My machine was slicing through the paper. So all those negatives, I turned into positives! I know what works and doesn't now. So with that being said......I am going to make my business a full time job. I am hoping within less than a year, I can make enough to live off of. Support my future family. I am very excited! I have a great product.....I just have to be a better business person.

I have the bridal show in a few days. I am VERY excited about. This will be the testing grounds for the new prices and the packages. I am in the works for developing a sustainable package as well that uses soy ink. The metallic paper I use is recycled, but the thermography printing, well lets just say it not the best for the enviroment. Not the worst though!

Ryan and I have been playing a crap load of poker lately. We are doing pretty good. Ryan is reading poker books, I do what ever I feel the right move is at the time. We are developing our bluffs and action moves. World Series of Poker, here we come! We are LOVING it. I did pretty good in my last tournament. Out of 50+ players, I was 9th PLACE! Go me!

TiVO is just a great dog. He is still a little puppyish, so he gets into trouble alot. His fasinations are with the bunnies at the moment. And of course Ryan. He just looooovvvveeeesssss Ryan! Ok, I might be slightly jelous, but at the same time, I am happy he has found such a great home with us and loves us as much as we love TiVO!

So this blog is starting to sound like one of those letters you get with Christmas cards. Rant and Rave blogs, next!

Happy Earth Day!

So I am not the most 'green' person around, I am a print graphic designer for gawd sakes. I do try to do a few things to help reduce my carbon foot print. I also do lots of stuff that are against the no-nos of the 'green' world. I hope I can balance stuff out, if not, maybe you can suggest a few tips for me. Here is the good, bad and the horrific planet killer stuff I do!

GOOD: I use recycled paper for my invitations.

BAD:
LOVE my plastic water bottles (BTW, don't suggest to drink filtered water. I won't do it. I don't like @ss water. I also won't drink Arrowhead water.....again @ss water. It was bottled here in Phoenix. I don't like the @ss water much!).

GOOD: Ryan (now I) invested in a plastic recycle machine. One-of-a-kind in the United States.

BAD:
Since we live in the "county" and not the city, they don't offer a recycling program.

GOOD: I am too lazy to wash my own car (hey, I save water by either 1: not wash it at all or 2: I let the pros do it.....they use less water).

BAD:
I use airsol hair spray. I am sorry....it just works better for my hair. On a good note, I hardly do my hair.

GOOD: I wash our clothes in cold water.

BAD:
I like long hot showers.


The list could go on and on. I do try. And I think if everyone "try's", I think we can make the world better! Happy Earth Day!

Ryan Was On TV!

Ryan did an on air TV interview for his website: PhotoRadarScam.com about the photo radar vans. http://www.kpho.com/video/19244971/index.html.

He looked good. I just wish the HORRIFIC florescent green trash can was out of site. That thing is hideous!

He is getting a lot of publicity lately about the site. He was on a few radio talk shows in the last few days.

I wish this was helping him get a j-o-b!

New Business Plan!

So the invitations was a love / hate relationship. I really LOVED the idea of them.....hate the idea of putting them together. It got to the point....I would just freak out of the idea getting a client. Overall, I wasn't making money on the labor side of it. I did a spread sheet (which I hated in itself...Ryan made me do it....fought him every step of the way). The hours I spent, the drama. I just wasn't making money.

So my new plan is to market them as DIY (Do It Yourself). I will provide all the supplies....the brides will put them together themselves. I will only market ones they can do and need very little guidance.

I am very stoked at my idea and hope that I can make this profitable. Make them enjoyable again.

Off to make a business plan and pricing sheet!!!!!

Best April Fool's Joke!

The best April Fool's joke got played on Ryan. I couldn't even come up with a better joke than the one that was played on him.

It was 5:30am and he comes busting in the bathroom while I was in the shower. He just kept saying that he was SO MAD. He was really fuming. I am sure if they did a blood pressure test on him, it would be extremely high.

Ryan gets alerts on his Black Berry when a story breaks on Photo Radar. There was a story that was just published about Photo Radar Cameras and how Phil Gorden (Phoenix's mayor....biggest a-hole out there) approved to place 350 new cameras around the valley with Federal stimulus money. I asked him how can he approve such a thing if he is just the mayor of PHX? How the Governor would allow that....knowing she is against them. He said there was a 1-800 number to call to get more details.

He called the number of course.....APRIL FOOL'S!

Heeehhhheeee! Best joke ever played on him!

**TiVO Update**

TiVO is fine. He had some sort of "foreign object" inside of him. His body was just producing a layer of stuff to protect him from what ever was inside of him. It could have been a bee stinger or cactus needle, anything.

Wall Street Journal, Valium and Lumps - Updates

First off.....Ryan was quoted in WALL STREET JOURNAL! How cool is that! He has been working SO hard on Photo Radar Scam dot com. He has researched the subject and put together a pretty neat website. It has articles that have been published, ways to get around photo radar cameras and what to do if you received a ticket. He is VERY passionate on the subject. So if you are for or against the cameras, go on and read the articles! You need to get informed on the subject!

To read the Wall Street Journal article, click here! Yay for Ryan and Photo Radar Scam dot com!



On to me. On Tuesday I started my teeth process. LONG story about my dental issues, but I am finally starting the process. It is going to take about 2.5 years to complete, more money than I have, but in the end, I am going to be extremely happy and have the smile I wanted when I was 9.

Tuesday's appointment was better in one way, bad in another. I have extreme anxiety when it comes to dentists. Tuesday's appointment was going to be a biggie. I received Valium and nitrous oxide (laughing gas), not to mention I just ate Chick-Fil-A. I guess they don't go well together and lets just say I had nothing left in my stomach after the appointment! The good news is, the first appointment went well. I only remember bits and pieces. I am in pain. My teeth at the moment are EXTREMELY sensitive and have to drink out of a straw. Hopefully the soreness goes away soon.

Here is a quick schedule of what is to come (without going into detail):

Tuesday's: Removal of bridges, Gum and other teeth check, minor restoration
Beginning of May: Semi permanent bridge on, minor gum restoration
Middle of May: BRACES! I can't believe I am getting braces on again. I should be a better patient as an adult than I was as a teenager know-it-all. The braces will be on for around one and half years to two years....possibly longer.
After braces: Start the implant process. Titanium rod / bone, you get the picture. Possible bone graph.
Implant part two: More drilling, more drama. Gum graph.
Implant part three: Rod extender.
Final: Dentist will put on the final crowns and bridges.

Ok, so I went into detail. Freaked everyone out. It is not going to be pretty. PLEASE bare with me for the next few years. I'll be under construction.



On to the lumps. So our fantastic dog, TiVO has a lump on his side. It has grown in the last few weeks. I am worried. I hope it is nothing. Ryan is taking him to the vet this afternoon. Poor little man! I'll update later on.

TiVO has been really good. We (actually Ryan) installed a doggie door. He loves it. He sticks his head out all day. He doesn't use it often, just sticks his head out.....looking/sniffing around. He also like to torture the baby bunnies by running them off each time they try to feed. The crazy bunnies are still staying put.

No-Theft Day

Let's all of us citizens take a vow to not steal for one whole day. We already have a Smoke-Free Day, a Secretary's Day, a Mother's Day, a Grandmother's Day and Valentine's Day. Let's have one more holiday: a Don't Steal Anything Day. The benefits will be immediate: There will be bumper stickers that read, "I didn't Steal Anything Today." The Hallmark cards will have their usual holiday bumper crop and, best of all, the huge flow of unfilched cash will send the economy soaring.

This holiday will only work if it is observed by big thieves, not just small fry. Cookers of books, Ponzi schemers, scrupleless traders, and accountants addicted to drugs and gambling will need to observe the day as much as petty cashiers, banking clerks, parking-meter attendants, coin-laundry collectors, slot-machine operators and traffic court judges. Not everyone will observe — just like not everyone stops smoking on Smoke-Free Day — but if enough people try, the results will be palpable.

Theft-Free Day will get better every year until we can eventually expand it to a Theft-Free Week. Imagine! A whole week during which no one steals anything. Hard to imagine, I know, but everybody used to smoke, too.

I know that I'm a dreamer, but what if we had a whole Theft-Free Month, like Poetry Month? April is traditionally Poetry Month, but there is no reason why it shouldn't double in the future as Theft-Free Month. Well, I'm not going as far as to suggest that everyone should observe a whole month without ripping anything off — that's probably a bit visionary. Certainly, professional thieves will be exempt: That's their job, after all, and they have enough problems with something called the law.

Still, even if we left out the people who make a living at it — muggers, bank robbers and the like — it would still be something if all the rest of us so-called law-abiding citizens — regular folks like Wall Street tycoons, CEOs and just-plain professionals, contractors and workaday drudges — would take our hands out of the till for a day, a week or a month. We would simply quit taking bribes, faking receipts, padding expense accounts and inflating budgets for that short time.

I know that a certain amount of thievery is built into the general economy and accounted for, but it's gotten out of hand. If it doesn't work and it wrecks the economy instead, we can just go back to Poetry Month. - Andrei Condrescu

Texas Hold'em Nicknames

Here are a few of my favorite poker derivative nicknames for your pocket cards in Texas Hold'em.

Single Cards

A: As-Nas, Bullet, Spot, Mastercard, Eye, A of spades: Death Card or Tax Card
K: Cowboy, Knight, Monarch
Q: Cowgirl, 2 Titties, Dame, Slut
J: Boy, Jackel, Valet, John, J-Boy,
10 (T): Dime, Bo Derek, Big Casino
9: Niner, 9 of diamonds: Curse of Scotland.
8: Fat Lady, Snowman
7: Beer Card, Hockey Stick, Mullet
6: A Boot, Sex
5: Five Spot, Nickel
4: Boat, Four Spot, One Legged Ace
3: Crab, Trey
2: Deuce, Duck, Dewey, 2 of spades: The Curse of Mexico

Pocket Card Nick Names

AA: Eyes of Texas, American Airlines, Pocket Rockets, Snake Eyes, Black Aces: Banditerna, Red Aces: Visine
AK: Big Slick, Big Ugly, King Aurthur, Korean Airlines
AQ: Big Slut, Mrs. Slick, Anthony & Cleopatra
AJ: Apple Jacks, Ajax, Black Jack, Hijack
AT: Bookends
A9: Rounders Hand
A8: Dead Man's Hand
A7: Slap Shot
A6: Mile High Club
A5: High Five
A4: Transvestite
A3: Ashtray
A2: Acey-Ducey, Little Slick

KK: King Kong, Gorillas, Knights, Cowboys
KQ: Royal Couple, If wins: Marriage (suited) or Mixed Marriage (off suit), Doesn't win: Divorce (suited)
KJ: Bachelor's Hand (off suit), Starkey and Hutch, Kojak
KT: Big Al

QQ: Ladies, 4 Tits, Bitches, The Prostitute
QJ: Maverick
QT: Cutie, Q-Tip

JJ: Brothers, Fishhooks, Jaybirds
JT: TJ Hooker

TT: Dimes, Audi

99: Pothooks, Wayne Gretzky, Popeye's

88: Snowmen, Racetracks, Two fat ladies

77: Mullets, Hockey Sticks

66: Route 66, Boots

55: Speed limit, Presto

44: Luke Skywalker, Black Fours: Dark Force or Darth Vader

33: Treys, Crabs

22: Ducks, Quack Quack


You can see all of the nick names at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_poker_hand_nicknames