And then the fight started...

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

******************************************

My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....

******************************************

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...

******************************************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!" So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you? "

And then the fight started.....

*****************************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

******************************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...

******************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started....

******************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her''Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

******************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

******************************************

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.'

About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?'

Brian said, 'Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure.


So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mom,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Brian


Several days later, Brian received an e-mail back from his mother that read:

Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mom

LESSON OF THE DAY - NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

Solar Panels

We are getting solar panels for our house! I am very excited!


Ryan is now selling them for his friends company. The process takes awhile with the permits and engineering plans, but in the end, they are going to ROCK. Look at us being all 'green'.

If you are wanting more information about getting solar panels installed for your home or office, please contact me and I'll forward the info to Ryan. There are a ton of government rebates and tax intensives right now. BTW, Arizona has a law out that no HOA can deny you getting solar panels on your roof. That is great news.

First Day of School

Last night was my first day of college....again. It is weird being back and starting all over again. I missed out on college campus life the first time around, so I think I'll get my fix with the community colleges. They have a student union where everyone is hanging out, playing pool and eating in the cafeteria. AIPX was like a office building and barely had vending machines. So I am liking the college campus life!

I had several questions going into school like "Do the kids wear backpacks?" "Do the kids all carry laptops?" Questions like that. I have been out of school for a VERY long time have have no clue what the "kids" wear/act.

The class it's self is just stupid and the biggest waste of my time. I feel like I rode the short bus to school. My first homework assignment is....no joke....was to set up a gmail account and email myself and the instructor. NO JOKE. I am telling you.....short bus! The only challenging thing about this class will be if I can stay awake for 3 hours. Most of the people in the class feel the same way. However....there are some people that I think have never turned on a computer before in their lives. On top of that....they sat by me. So the entire time I am having to show them how to do something so simple as "right-click" or how to change a password or how to go to the "start" menu. They had no clue how to delete a folder or go to a directory folder. I don't have patients for that. It took this one lady and HOUR to change her password. AN HOUR! WTF! I told her that her password needed to be 6 characters long. She asked..."what's a character". It was like that for an hour. The teacher was even getting frustrated. Finally he said that he would create one for her so we can move along.....well that bit him in the ass later when she had to reboot. She knew NOTHING!

The next two classes will at least be very challenging for me and I'll learn something from them. More than how to "right click".

BTW, I got my backpack all ready to go several weeks ago. Like what you did when you where in elementary school. I am a dork.

Test Results Are Back......

....And they are all a big fat negative!

Talk about a disappointment. Don't get me wrong, I am happy that I don't have Celiac Disease or liver/kidney failure. I just want to know what is wrong. I have been to the doctor 3 times now in my life and with no answers, just a heck of a lot more questions.

One thing we are doing is an experimental treatment. I guess they just found out that there are serotonin levels in your digestive track, like in your brain. Hence, "butterflys in your stomach" saying. I might have a lack of them or too much of the chemical.

I am NOT happy with the side effects of the drug. I hope my body starts to adjust. We will see where this treatment is taking me. So far, no help.

Was that the last piece of pizza.....EVER?

So, most of you know me know that I have stomach issues. Lots of them. The docs don't really know what is the matter, so the chalk it up to IBS. It is a "catch-all" disease if they have no clue what is going on in your stomach.

I finally had enough. I am tired of the sever cramping and the bloating. When I talk about sever cramping, I am talking about falling to the floor, fetal position, sobbing. I do this several times a week. It drains me dry of energy and even self-esteem. Not to mention all the embarrassing times I have had with "IBS".

I finally went to my doc and said enough is enough. Find out what I have.

14 blood tests later (over a pint of blood drawn.....I am use to it). I am hopefully going to get some sort of answers. Whether I like them or not.

I am pretty sure it is an auto-immune disorder that prevents me for eating wheat and wheat-glutton. Who knows.....I'll I know is I have been stuffing down the pastas because after today, I might NEVER get to eat pasta or breads ever again. Anything with flour or wheat and several other ingredients that I will no long get to share with the world.

Pity party for one!

I decided to share my journey with you all. I have no clue who reads this blog, but I don't want to hid this from people, which is my usual responds. I want to help. I wish I had people tell me to go to the doctors, here is my symptoms. It is a VERY embarrassing subject, but I need to talk and not feel ashamed for what my body goes through to get rid of the foods I eat. It is not my fault (maybe my gene's) but not my fault.

Wish me luck!

NEW WEBSITE!

Finished designing my website!!! I am a proud mama!! This is my first website that I designed and it happens to be mine.

Please check it out and let me know if there there are any errors - Spelling, grammar (by-the-way, I just misspelled 'grammar', told you I was horrific), technical. I haven't checked it out on other browsers yet.

There still is a lot more work to be done, but this is a fantastic start. (I would like to direct you to the cute favicon.)

http://dulcecreative.com/


In other news, I decided to go back to school. I would like to get a website design degree. I think with a BA in graphic design and a AAS in website design, I will be marketable. Plus, web is the way to go.

Thanks!

Entering the Crackberry World

Yes, I might be going over to the other side and getting a Crackberry. The new tour just came out today and it looks really cool.....I am just wondering if it is for me. If I use all the features and get my money's worth.

So, I need your help. Is the Crackberry worth it? I would LOVE to get an iPhone, but since I would rather have no phone than go back to AT&T (OK, slight bit exaggeration).

Help me decide:

• Blackberry Tour
• Blackberry Storm
• Blackberry Curve
• Omnia I (would LOVE to get an Omnia II, but they are going to be over $500 bucks....effers)
• LG Touch
• LG Dare
  

or another suggestion for Verizon service.

8 THINGS

My friend, Jenni did this on her blog and thought it was super cute.


8 THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO IN THE NEXT YEAR:

• Traveling
• Business started in full force
• Watching TiVO grow up
• Advance my career
• Ladies World Series of Poker
• Redecorating (we just have to get Ryan on board)
• Getting Solar Panels
• Maybe TTC

8 THINGS I DID YESTERDAY:

• Worked
• Finished a book
  
• Worked on my brochure
• Made San Diego plans
• Looked for a new cell phone
• Watched Real World and SYTYCD
• Played with TiVO
• Made Rice Krispy Treats

(I lead a very boring life)


8 THINGS I WISH I COULD DO:

• Lose weight by not doing anything
• Win the lottery
• Get really good at poker
• Have own a kick ass invitation company
• Travel more.....I am not saying Vegas....Africa or some tropical island
  
• Go sky diving
• Move to a crazy large house (with the winnings of the lottery)
  
• Have no debt

8 SHOWS I WATCH:

• Dexter
• Amazing Race
• Survivor
• Project Runway / Fashion Show
• Poker
• The Office
• Law and Order: SVU
• Without a Trace

8 FAVORITE FOODS:

• Prime Rib
• Chipotle Bowl
• Twice Baked Potatoes
• Chicken Parmesan
• Pizza
• Cinnamon Sugar Toast
• California Rolls
• Spicy Tuna Rolls
  

8 PLACES I’D LIKE TO TRAVEL:

• Africa
• Tahiti
• Australia
• Turks & Caicos
• Alaskan Cruise
• Italy
• Sweden
• New York City

8 PLACES I’VE LIVED:

• Safford, AZ
• Cottonwood, AZ
• Phoenix, AZ
• Glendale, AZ
• Peoria, AZ

I Am Sick

I think I am coming down with baby fever. Crap. Not the best time.