In the "Awesome Girl Award" post, number 2, the question asked what my favorite memory is. These are hard questions usually, but there is one day that really sticks out at me when I think of individual days.
It was a day that I thought I could take on the world. It was a day that I never felt better about myself and my life.
The day started out with me car shopping. I wanted to buy myself a car for a graduation present from college. I went with my then employer "Steve"* (*name was changed) and my BFF, Cathie. I bought a brand new car that day. BRAND NEW....under 50 miles on it. It was cute and I was so proud of the car. Steve and Cathie spent all day with me and finally got my car. Steve had a friend that was having a "party", but I knew it wasn't a normal party, it was some sort of self esteem party. I was exhausted, but after all, he wasted an entire Saturday with me at the car dealership, the least I could do is go to his friend's "party".
The "party" was as weird as I though it was going to be. They did these activities. First they gave us a wooden board and had us write all of our fears on it. They they wanted us to karate chop the board....blah blah blah. Us breaking the board had some sort of symbolism, I don't remember. I didn't partake in karate chopping. No need to break my hand. It would never get rid of the fears. Then they did this weird thing with an arrow where you can break a wooden arrow with the soft spot on your neck...right above the collar bone. Again, no braking arrows with my throat.
Then the glass came out. She put a long sheet down and spread the glass over it. A few people walked across the glass. I thought about it and it really seemed really cool. They didn't cut their feet. So, I did it!! I walk across the glass and back again. I DID IT! I was so happy for myself that I walked across the glass. It was a high that I never felt before. It was a great feeling. I felt I could really take on the world. My life was going to be OK.
They had us do other stuff, again.....I didn't participate in the crazy activities. Cathie did not participate in any of the activities. Steve did a few things.
Then they had us go into the back yard where there was a HUGE bon fire. All I can think about was the fire department coming at any moment. How do you explain what you where doing? They had us throw our boards with our fears into the bon fire. We were burning our fears.
Thinking that was it, oh no, it was not over. Out came musical instruments. I know what you are thinking, because I was thinking the same thing.... "What the hell are these for?" They started going through the fire with shovels and placing the burning coals in a pit. They had all of us walk around the coal pit and play the music and chant and clap our hands. Barefooted of course. Finally people started walking across the fire. Everyone claped their hands. I was really impressed with the people who did it. Each time the circle would come around to the part where you crossed the fire pit, I would chicken out. I didn't want to ruin my high with the glass walking. That was crazy enough. Fire walking? I am not that crazy.
Then all of a sudden.....I went across the fire. I WENT ACROSS THE FIRE. I didn't think about it, I just went across the hot coals.
I will never be able to explain how I felt. I was truly on top of the world. I have NEVER been so proud of myself. NEVER. None of my accomplishments put together, would ever amount to what I just did.
I finally got Steve and Cathie to go across them. They too felt how I did.
This was in the fall of 2003.
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