You know you are old when...

...you can no longer donate your eggs anymore.












The age limit is 28 if you where wondering.

Straitjackets and Shock Therapy

So TiVO has issues. So we though....how can we help our little man? Of course, straitjackets and shock therapy since he is batsh!t crazy!

We got TiVO a head collar harness thing. When we take him on walks...he pulls so hard. All 30 pounds of him really is hard to control. I am sore afterwards and walks are so not what I was thinking about when I wanted dog. They are just not fun with him. Of course we live in a bunny haven. Bunnies are EVERYWHERE! Right now is full swing of the season and we see around 40 bunnies per walk. TiVO is hyper drive. He just pulls and pulls.

So one walk with the head collar....he is a completely different dog. No more pulling....well, because he can't. Miracle! A nice dog on a nice walk. Best $9.50 I ever spent! He does go in these crazy spouts where he wants the head collar off. He whales around and around on the ground. We just stop and wait for these episodes to finish. We did see his friend on walk #2..... Jesse James the Labrador (BTW, his older siblings are famous. One of the dog food brands used their photos for a marketing campaign). Usually TiVO likes Jesse James, TiVO walks up to him and swats him in the face. Then he attempted to attack Jesse. Like I said, batsh!t crazy!


We also purchase a shock collar. This was difficult to me. I was now a protective mother. I didn't want to shock him. I cried like a little sissy girl that I am.

TiVO is OBSESSIVE with the bunnies. He is attacking them in our bushes. He is destroying them. Do you remember the lump that we found? It was due to him chasing the bunnies inside our huge bushes. He is costing us a lot of money. Plus his is getting filthy. He comes in after bunny hunting in the bushes and he is covered in leaves, sticks, dirt and bugs. Of course he shakes inside our house! Lets not even go there with the sap. He is also digging. I am so done with is destructive behaviors. One hand, it is his natural instinct to dig and hunt, but on the other hand, between the vet bills and landscaping fees....I am done.

By the way, he has never caught a bunny.

So, the shock collar was introduced. At first, we told him no and buzzed a loud tone. If he didn't stop...we shocked him. I thought it would be a lot worse. I thought he would cry, but the shocks didn't phase him. He just had a one track mind...... BUNNIES. Eventually we turned it up and he felt it. He was scared of the bushes for like 24 hours. Then back to bunny hunting. Another dose of shock therapy with be prescribed this weekend.

Have You Been on This Blog??

This has to be the best blog out there. I laugh so hard with every post! At the same time, I kind of feel bad for the guy. Twilight Widowers Anonymous

This guy has a wife that has to be the most obsessive Twilight fan out there. I REALLY like the saga, but this lady goes way over the sanity line. It is a must read blog.....I promise it won't disappoint. So if you are a fan or can't stand Twilight....you will be rolling on the ground laughing.

By the way.....he calls Edward: Pretty McSparkle! That has to be the best line.

Kudos to you, Mr. Twilight Widow!

Inaugural Rant & Rave

Rant - People Who Hate AZ, That Are From Another State:

I am so sick of people who move to Arizona from another state and hate it here. Complain every second about how bad Phoenix is. Every little thing that happens, they compare it to AZ. "We don't do it like that in Boston." Uhhhhh ok, move back! They hate the drivers here. My rebuttal, how many Arizona natives do you know? Exactly, they are far and few between. Phoenix is made up of ppl from around the country, just like yourself.....so AZ drivers are not bad drivers....it is all these other a-holes from "So-Cal" or "Jersey" that move here. They complain about EVERYTHING! How there is no culture here, how the buildings look a like, how hot it is here (hey, dumb @ss, it is PHOENIX DESERT, what did you expect? Hawaii temps all year around?), how bad the education system is (ok, it is bad), how people are rude (again....AZ natives are a rare breed). Don't even get me started on the snow birds!

Overall, Arizona was established in 1914. Most East coast states was explored by Europeans in the 16th century. That is a vast difference. Yes, we had many settlers before that, but we don't have the two hundred year old libraries and the "culture" that you all want. We do have plenty of culture here....you just have to be open minded! Have you been to the Heard Museum? Exactly. you should check it out. You should start to call AZ home. I know you have lived here for the last 25 years and still not think of it as home. If you hate it here so much....why stay for that long? Why did you move here in the first place? Exactly....your beloved state isn't the best either. I am so sorry you hate it here. I wish you could love it as much as I do or just leave and take your negativity with you to your beloved state!!!

While I am on the So-Cal and No-Cal thing.....you drive me crazy! Your stickers stretch across your entire back window of your truck. I ask when you moved from Cali....your reply "When I was 3." WOW! You are representing a zip code that you are no longer tied too. OK! That is why we live in America. You can put what ever you want on your car.

Another think I hate about trucks....is those stupid bull ball things you hang off your hitch. You are NOT cool. You are a WT a-hole! Rant over.


Rave - Twilight Saga:

I know. I might be slightly obsessed, but Twilight has done so much for me. It got me into reading. I really, truly love the saga. I am now re-reading all the books. I was reading Twilight and Midnight Sun together. It is nice to slow down and pick up parts that you forgot or didn't understand. Also, big help with the characters on knowing them better. I wish Midnight Sun would be finished. I truly loved that draft.

So thank you Stephenie Meyer! You got me to love books and love to read. You also created an unbelievable love story that we can all relate to one way or another. However, you have ruined me for all other books. Nothing compares!

Way Too Long!

It has been WAY too long since I blogged. It irritates me because I have SO many ideas. I have countless photos of meals I was planning. I have the top 5 list that I haven't done in so long. I also haven't done my rant and rave blogs. I have been wanting to do them since I started the blog. Hopefully I get better, but my life is pretty boring!!!

So for right now, update time!

Ryan and I's one year anniversary was on April 26th. We had dinner....we talked. It was nice. We are hoping to plan a vacation soon. Hopefully one that doesn't include bed bugs!!

Again, here is a mini slide show of our wedding photos: http://chelsea-nicole.com/slideshows/jamie_and_ryan/ The photos were taken by the VERY talented Chelsea Nicole Photography.

Since it has been little over a year, I have to decide on what to do with my dress. Check out Chelsea's Trash the Dress sessions!



So now it is business time. I really started to think about the future and what I need to do. Babies will be coming in the next few years and I started to think about daycare and all the other expenses. Even in the immediate future, I don't feel my job as being secure.

So now it is business time! I am in FULL swing. I wrote down all the negatives that went along with the invitations. I was not making any money. They were SO much work. I hated wasting my entire weekend on the invitations. My machine was slicing through the paper. So all those negatives, I turned into positives! I know what works and doesn't now. So with that being said......I am going to make my business a full time job. I am hoping within less than a year, I can make enough to live off of. Support my future family. I am very excited! I have a great product.....I just have to be a better business person.

I have the bridal show in a few days. I am VERY excited about. This will be the testing grounds for the new prices and the packages. I am in the works for developing a sustainable package as well that uses soy ink. The metallic paper I use is recycled, but the thermography printing, well lets just say it not the best for the enviroment. Not the worst though!

Ryan and I have been playing a crap load of poker lately. We are doing pretty good. Ryan is reading poker books, I do what ever I feel the right move is at the time. We are developing our bluffs and action moves. World Series of Poker, here we come! We are LOVING it. I did pretty good in my last tournament. Out of 50+ players, I was 9th PLACE! Go me!

TiVO is just a great dog. He is still a little puppyish, so he gets into trouble alot. His fasinations are with the bunnies at the moment. And of course Ryan. He just looooovvvveeeesssss Ryan! Ok, I might be slightly jelous, but at the same time, I am happy he has found such a great home with us and loves us as much as we love TiVO!

So this blog is starting to sound like one of those letters you get with Christmas cards. Rant and Rave blogs, next!

Happy Earth Day!

So I am not the most 'green' person around, I am a print graphic designer for gawd sakes. I do try to do a few things to help reduce my carbon foot print. I also do lots of stuff that are against the no-nos of the 'green' world. I hope I can balance stuff out, if not, maybe you can suggest a few tips for me. Here is the good, bad and the horrific planet killer stuff I do!

GOOD: I use recycled paper for my invitations.

BAD:
LOVE my plastic water bottles (BTW, don't suggest to drink filtered water. I won't do it. I don't like @ss water. I also won't drink Arrowhead water.....again @ss water. It was bottled here in Phoenix. I don't like the @ss water much!).

GOOD: Ryan (now I) invested in a plastic recycle machine. One-of-a-kind in the United States.

BAD:
Since we live in the "county" and not the city, they don't offer a recycling program.

GOOD: I am too lazy to wash my own car (hey, I save water by either 1: not wash it at all or 2: I let the pros do it.....they use less water).

BAD:
I use airsol hair spray. I am sorry....it just works better for my hair. On a good note, I hardly do my hair.

GOOD: I wash our clothes in cold water.

BAD:
I like long hot showers.


The list could go on and on. I do try. And I think if everyone "try's", I think we can make the world better! Happy Earth Day!

Ryan Was On TV!

Ryan did an on air TV interview for his website: PhotoRadarScam.com about the photo radar vans. http://www.kpho.com/video/19244971/index.html.

He looked good. I just wish the HORRIFIC florescent green trash can was out of site. That thing is hideous!

He is getting a lot of publicity lately about the site. He was on a few radio talk shows in the last few days.

I wish this was helping him get a j-o-b!

New Business Plan!

So the invitations was a love / hate relationship. I really LOVED the idea of them.....hate the idea of putting them together. It got to the point....I would just freak out of the idea getting a client. Overall, I wasn't making money on the labor side of it. I did a spread sheet (which I hated in itself...Ryan made me do it....fought him every step of the way). The hours I spent, the drama. I just wasn't making money.

So my new plan is to market them as DIY (Do It Yourself). I will provide all the supplies....the brides will put them together themselves. I will only market ones they can do and need very little guidance.

I am very stoked at my idea and hope that I can make this profitable. Make them enjoyable again.

Off to make a business plan and pricing sheet!!!!!

Best April Fool's Joke!

The best April Fool's joke got played on Ryan. I couldn't even come up with a better joke than the one that was played on him.

It was 5:30am and he comes busting in the bathroom while I was in the shower. He just kept saying that he was SO MAD. He was really fuming. I am sure if they did a blood pressure test on him, it would be extremely high.

Ryan gets alerts on his Black Berry when a story breaks on Photo Radar. There was a story that was just published about Photo Radar Cameras and how Phil Gorden (Phoenix's mayor....biggest a-hole out there) approved to place 350 new cameras around the valley with Federal stimulus money. I asked him how can he approve such a thing if he is just the mayor of PHX? How the Governor would allow that....knowing she is against them. He said there was a 1-800 number to call to get more details.

He called the number of course.....APRIL FOOL'S!

Heeehhhheeee! Best joke ever played on him!

**TiVO Update**

TiVO is fine. He had some sort of "foreign object" inside of him. His body was just producing a layer of stuff to protect him from what ever was inside of him. It could have been a bee stinger or cactus needle, anything.

Wall Street Journal, Valium and Lumps - Updates

First off.....Ryan was quoted in WALL STREET JOURNAL! How cool is that! He has been working SO hard on Photo Radar Scam dot com. He has researched the subject and put together a pretty neat website. It has articles that have been published, ways to get around photo radar cameras and what to do if you received a ticket. He is VERY passionate on the subject. So if you are for or against the cameras, go on and read the articles! You need to get informed on the subject!

To read the Wall Street Journal article, click here! Yay for Ryan and Photo Radar Scam dot com!



On to me. On Tuesday I started my teeth process. LONG story about my dental issues, but I am finally starting the process. It is going to take about 2.5 years to complete, more money than I have, but in the end, I am going to be extremely happy and have the smile I wanted when I was 9.

Tuesday's appointment was better in one way, bad in another. I have extreme anxiety when it comes to dentists. Tuesday's appointment was going to be a biggie. I received Valium and nitrous oxide (laughing gas), not to mention I just ate Chick-Fil-A. I guess they don't go well together and lets just say I had nothing left in my stomach after the appointment! The good news is, the first appointment went well. I only remember bits and pieces. I am in pain. My teeth at the moment are EXTREMELY sensitive and have to drink out of a straw. Hopefully the soreness goes away soon.

Here is a quick schedule of what is to come (without going into detail):

Tuesday's: Removal of bridges, Gum and other teeth check, minor restoration
Beginning of May: Semi permanent bridge on, minor gum restoration
Middle of May: BRACES! I can't believe I am getting braces on again. I should be a better patient as an adult than I was as a teenager know-it-all. The braces will be on for around one and half years to two years....possibly longer.
After braces: Start the implant process. Titanium rod / bone, you get the picture. Possible bone graph.
Implant part two: More drilling, more drama. Gum graph.
Implant part three: Rod extender.
Final: Dentist will put on the final crowns and bridges.

Ok, so I went into detail. Freaked everyone out. It is not going to be pretty. PLEASE bare with me for the next few years. I'll be under construction.



On to the lumps. So our fantastic dog, TiVO has a lump on his side. It has grown in the last few weeks. I am worried. I hope it is nothing. Ryan is taking him to the vet this afternoon. Poor little man! I'll update later on.

TiVO has been really good. We (actually Ryan) installed a doggie door. He loves it. He sticks his head out all day. He doesn't use it often, just sticks his head out.....looking/sniffing around. He also like to torture the baby bunnies by running them off each time they try to feed. The crazy bunnies are still staying put.